Today marks the beginning of my liquid diet. I feel really unsure about the whole thing, so I can't really say that I am taking this on like a lion. I feel very meek and afraid, to be honest. I can't fathom eating nothing that requires chewing for 2 weeks before surgery and at least 3 after.
FIVE WEEKS without food????? Think about that. No chewing, no eating, no satisfaction. Just drinking and sipping for weeks! I feel like I may starve to death. At least I am going to be hungry, grouchy and feeling very deprived. I know.. I know.. FOCUS ON THE PRIZE.
Ok - the prize is a surgery laden with less complications and risks and more weight loss. That HAS TO BE GOOD, right? It's not like I am going to starve. I will be drinking protein shakes full of vitamins and protein to keep me well and I will be drinking low sugar juices. I can have all the broth I want and I will be eating the hell out of sugar free Jello!
Crap. That didn't work. I am still freaking out and thinking I may starve to death. I am a food addict. I am. I admit out loud to the whole world. I love food, I love chewing food and I love to cook food. The real road begins here, right now. The huge lifelong changes begin, right now. I can do nothing but take this one day at a time and the way I feel right now, I am betting that sometimes it might be one hour at a time.
My goals - NO CHEATING. NO TAKING OUT FRUSTRATION AND HUNGER ON THOSE I LOVE.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, we don't see a lot of thunderstorms. I love to hear the thunder and it might sound a little corny, but right now I feel like it's a great mark to the end of the fat and unhealthy me. It's moving all of the stagnant life out and washing in health and happiness. It's such a fitting and dramatic new beginning! Or maybe it's my stomach growling........ ?
lol! It was the Great I AM growling with you in solidarity. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm totally empathizing with your freak out. I'd be doing the same thing. You're right, though. Focus on the prize! It's one you've wanted for a very long time, and one that will have benefits you probably haven't even imagined yet.