I still have some water retention to deal with and that will get worse in the next 2 days or so, but I am now officially down 20 pounds in my pre-op weight loss efforts!! The scale has been showing a big stall in my loss and I was feeling pretty bad about that. I couldn't see how I wasn't losing more weight when I am taking in almost zero fat and about 500 calories a day. My body does this though - holds on to fat when it thinks I am starving. Uggghh!!!!
I would still like to lose 10 more pounds but I only have 6 days now to do it. I will keep pushing on!!! At least now I feel like I am accomplishing something!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
No more pain!
Today is Day 8 of my torturous liquid diet before surgery. I spent several days with a really bad stomach ache and incredible "head hunger". "Head Hunger" is evil. It's not like you are physically hungry. It's just that psychologically you want something to chew, or taste or you just feel like you should be eating, even though you are full or not needing to eat. Head hunger is powerful. Even though I have never been addicted to cigarettes, I have known people well who were and quit. I liken head hunger to quitting smoking and still having that horrible desire to put that cigarette or something into your mouth. It's that same kind of feeling you get in certain instances as a smoker quitting - like after sex, after meals, while drinking, etc. Head hunger is really tough on the emotions. Not being able to taste or eat food makes one sad, irritable, maybe even angry. You feel deprived and it's very hard to distract yourself from it. The more I try to describe it, the more I think a food addict trying to be on a liquid diet for 8 days is much like a smoker trying to quit!
But I digress... so the first few days were extremely hard with the endless head hunger. I drank my protein shake, I was satisfied and yet I was wanting FOOD. It made me embarrassingly cranky and even though I kept almost a mantra in my head of "don't take this out on those you love", I found it hard to be civil and kind. I'm ashamed of my behavior. It was really not the best. It's not like I was awful to anyone, but my lack of patience and criticism of others that I strive to not show were right out front! I picked at my husband's grammar and I yelled at other drivers in my car on the road. I was impatient with my daughter, who talks almost non-stop at 8. I just felt like a spoiled child that wanted candy and had been told "no".
On top of the head hunger and irritability, I was literally in pain for days. My stomach ached. I finally found out what it is to go to bed hungry and I now know what it means to really say, "I am starving!" The pain in my stomach wasn't excruciating or anything - just an ache that never seemed to really go away. After some broth or a protein drink it would ease a little bit, but it just never went away. Finally I woke up on Day 7 and realized that the pain had finally eased! Hurray!
Today was the easiest day yet - 3 protein shakes and 3 mugs of broth. I boiled down some turkey wings and made my own broth that was SO much tastier than the canned chicken "stuff". My daughter turned 9 today and we celebrated at my son's house with fantastic BBQ and a beautiful cake. I felt no temptation. As a matter of fact, I wasn't really even interested. Food is just not that appealing anymore. SCARY, huh?
My mother cried a little bit tonight. At first I thought she was just worried about me, but she said that she just felt odd that she wasn't doing this with me. We used to be so close and we're just not anymore (long story, different blog). She asked me twice if I couldn't just do Atkins and lose some weight like I did a few years ago and be satisfied. I reminded her that Atkins will never be a permanent solution to my weight problem and that I desperately need the help that the sleeve will give me as the perfect tool for my situation. Everyone else in my family seems to have accepted that this is what I am going to do. Some seem a little more concerned than others, most are not supportive in words at all, but I know that they know in their hearts that this surgery is going to prolong my life and bring back a quality of life that I haven't known since I was a very young adult.
I'm in the homestretch now. I will fly to Mexico in 5 days. FIVE DAYS!!!! My surgery is in 6 days. My new life is so close at hand. I will do my best to keep my mind busy for the next few days with packing and trip preparations so that it goes even faster.
But I digress... so the first few days were extremely hard with the endless head hunger. I drank my protein shake, I was satisfied and yet I was wanting FOOD. It made me embarrassingly cranky and even though I kept almost a mantra in my head of "don't take this out on those you love", I found it hard to be civil and kind. I'm ashamed of my behavior. It was really not the best. It's not like I was awful to anyone, but my lack of patience and criticism of others that I strive to not show were right out front! I picked at my husband's grammar and I yelled at other drivers in my car on the road. I was impatient with my daughter, who talks almost non-stop at 8. I just felt like a spoiled child that wanted candy and had been told "no".
On top of the head hunger and irritability, I was literally in pain for days. My stomach ached. I finally found out what it is to go to bed hungry and I now know what it means to really say, "I am starving!" The pain in my stomach wasn't excruciating or anything - just an ache that never seemed to really go away. After some broth or a protein drink it would ease a little bit, but it just never went away. Finally I woke up on Day 7 and realized that the pain had finally eased! Hurray!
Today was the easiest day yet - 3 protein shakes and 3 mugs of broth. I boiled down some turkey wings and made my own broth that was SO much tastier than the canned chicken "stuff". My daughter turned 9 today and we celebrated at my son's house with fantastic BBQ and a beautiful cake. I felt no temptation. As a matter of fact, I wasn't really even interested. Food is just not that appealing anymore. SCARY, huh?
My mother cried a little bit tonight. At first I thought she was just worried about me, but she said that she just felt odd that she wasn't doing this with me. We used to be so close and we're just not anymore (long story, different blog). She asked me twice if I couldn't just do Atkins and lose some weight like I did a few years ago and be satisfied. I reminded her that Atkins will never be a permanent solution to my weight problem and that I desperately need the help that the sleeve will give me as the perfect tool for my situation. Everyone else in my family seems to have accepted that this is what I am going to do. Some seem a little more concerned than others, most are not supportive in words at all, but I know that they know in their hearts that this surgery is going to prolong my life and bring back a quality of life that I haven't known since I was a very young adult.
I'm in the homestretch now. I will fly to Mexico in 5 days. FIVE DAYS!!!! My surgery is in 6 days. My new life is so close at hand. I will do my best to keep my mind busy for the next few days with packing and trip preparations so that it goes even faster.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Day 6 On Liquids
My mood has slightly improved, but I continue to be pretty miserable. I am no longer craving every food in the universe, and I certainly get full MUCH faster now. One protein shake will keep me satisfied for a couple of hours now. I had lost another 1.5 pounds this morning when I weighed myself which gave me a lift. I have't really shown any further weight loss since my 16 pounds on Atkins prior to the start of the liquid diet and that was really starting to get to me. My body seemed to go into a mini-shock the first few days, holding on to every calorie and every ounce of water I drank. My feet, ankles and legs swelled up to an uncomfortable point. I take a blood pressure medication that contains a "water pill" or diuretic in it. Usually it makes me pee LARGE quantities every single hour of the day. For the first few days on this liquid diet, I was hardly peeing - even with the pills. My body was over-riding the medication to preserve itself!
The goal is to get in 60 grams of protein everyday to prevent muscle loss, so I am working hard to get at least 3 protein shakes in (each one with skim milk has more than 18 grams). I am drinking broth too which is not a source of protein surprisingly, but is warm and filling. I can eat all of the sugar free popsicles I want and sugar free Jello.. I tried the popsicles one night, but they just gave me horrible heartburn, so that was a bust. I think the Jello will be the same way, so I haven't tried that yet. I may make some tomorrow to see if it helps.
I'm definitely more tired, a little bit weak and I get a headache and dizziness every night before bed, but I am surviving! My stomach hurts most of the time. I will admit now that I don't think that I have EVER been truly hungry in my life until now. I truly know what hunger feels like now. It's a gnawing pain that doesn't go away. It's not a craving for something to eat or that feeling you get when you see a delectable ad on tv for something perceived as "delicious". Hunger is a pain in the gut that doesn't go away. I feel incredible empathy now for starving people (in particular starving children) all over the world. We as Americans generally have no idea what it really is. No child should go to bed hungry! No one should have to starve and feel the pain of their body wasting away looking for something to provide energy. If every American gave $1.00 to a reputable group that would wisely feed hungry people, we could make a HUGE difference! Why doesn't our government put that $1 donation on every tax return? We give $1 to fund political campaigns, why not to stop hunger?????
ok...off my soap box, but REALLY?
I leave for Mexico in 8 days which seems a little bit like an eternity right now, but I know it will be here very soon! I can do this... I can do this... I will just continue to tell myself this..
I have also come to the conclusion that this journey is mine and mine alone. No one around me understands the hunger, the weakness, the pain and the frustration. My sweet husband is sad with frustration. He wants so much to ease this burden and he is helpless. My 25 year old son will be physically traveling with me to Mexico for the surgery but he is young and really lacks empathy. He has a loving heart and I know he means well, but he is just too young and self-centered yet to really get this whole situation and give me any comfort emotionally. All of my life, I have had someone to walk with me through my toughest times and darkest hours, but this time... ALL ME. I'm not complaining about it - just stating the facts. I got myself fat like this all by myself and now I will walk this journey for the most part alone. I do smile thinking of how much stronger and more assured I will be on the other side of all of this. I am not only preparing to start my life anew as a trim and fit person, but I will be able to always remember the suffering that brought me through it. I can do nothing other than come out a better person.
Anyone want to tell me this is the "easy way out" now?
The goal is to get in 60 grams of protein everyday to prevent muscle loss, so I am working hard to get at least 3 protein shakes in (each one with skim milk has more than 18 grams). I am drinking broth too which is not a source of protein surprisingly, but is warm and filling. I can eat all of the sugar free popsicles I want and sugar free Jello.. I tried the popsicles one night, but they just gave me horrible heartburn, so that was a bust. I think the Jello will be the same way, so I haven't tried that yet. I may make some tomorrow to see if it helps.
I'm definitely more tired, a little bit weak and I get a headache and dizziness every night before bed, but I am surviving! My stomach hurts most of the time. I will admit now that I don't think that I have EVER been truly hungry in my life until now. I truly know what hunger feels like now. It's a gnawing pain that doesn't go away. It's not a craving for something to eat or that feeling you get when you see a delectable ad on tv for something perceived as "delicious". Hunger is a pain in the gut that doesn't go away. I feel incredible empathy now for starving people (in particular starving children) all over the world. We as Americans generally have no idea what it really is. No child should go to bed hungry! No one should have to starve and feel the pain of their body wasting away looking for something to provide energy. If every American gave $1.00 to a reputable group that would wisely feed hungry people, we could make a HUGE difference! Why doesn't our government put that $1 donation on every tax return? We give $1 to fund political campaigns, why not to stop hunger?????
ok...off my soap box, but REALLY?
I leave for Mexico in 8 days which seems a little bit like an eternity right now, but I know it will be here very soon! I can do this... I can do this... I will just continue to tell myself this..
I have also come to the conclusion that this journey is mine and mine alone. No one around me understands the hunger, the weakness, the pain and the frustration. My sweet husband is sad with frustration. He wants so much to ease this burden and he is helpless. My 25 year old son will be physically traveling with me to Mexico for the surgery but he is young and really lacks empathy. He has a loving heart and I know he means well, but he is just too young and self-centered yet to really get this whole situation and give me any comfort emotionally. All of my life, I have had someone to walk with me through my toughest times and darkest hours, but this time... ALL ME. I'm not complaining about it - just stating the facts. I got myself fat like this all by myself and now I will walk this journey for the most part alone. I do smile thinking of how much stronger and more assured I will be on the other side of all of this. I am not only preparing to start my life anew as a trim and fit person, but I will be able to always remember the suffering that brought me through it. I can do nothing other than come out a better person.
Anyone want to tell me this is the "easy way out" now?
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Day 1 Down
Well, it's official. The liquid diet SUCKS.
I got up this morning cranky, defeated and sad. I hadn't even started yet!
I went to the kitchen to find my son making "hobo hash" for himself and his sibs. It's scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon and potatoes. I walked back out of the kitchen without even bothering with my protein shake. Finally around noon, I decided I was hungry enough to pull the "Bullet" (blender) out of it's box and start assembling it. I didn't get far. My frustration level was so high and my patience was non-existent. About 45 minutes later I proceeded to re-enter the kitchen yet again to hand wash all of the parts to the "Bullet" as well as to wash the shaker cups my husband and I will use for drinks at times. I was irritated at every single aspect of the preparation, but eventually I got ready for the ingredients.
I went to the fridge and got the skim milk (ewwwww) and grabbed some ice too. I threw those into the "Bullet" and then opened the trusty can of powdered protein drink mix. It's only 100 calories and gives me 18g of protein per shake! Very much what the surgeon ordered. I have been reading lots of people's stories about how horrible these shakes are. Some gag, vomit and despise these. I was a little worried - not gonna lie. I mixed it up briefly in the "Bullet" and then went to release the cup from the machine. It was stuck! I tried and tried to get it off, but it wouldn't budge. "Great!" I yelled. I finally got the courage up to make a shake and then I couldn't drink the damn thing because it was stuck on the machine. I was ready to cry, and I mean for real. I asked my 13 year old son to try to get it off and with much grunting and work, he still hadn't been able to release the demon cup from the machine. I was ready to give up and go sulk when I gave it one more try and VOILA! It finally released and the shake was in my hand.
"Yuck" my daughter said as she looked at the grog. I shot her an evil stare and said, "This is the only food I can eat for the next 2 weeks. Don't knock it!"
The shake really was pretty good and I got it down without issue. I actually felt full .... for about 20 minutes. I have been drinking all day. Three shakes total, one glass of tomato juice and 2 mugs of chicken broth. I AM STARVING. I am not going to sugar coat this - the liquid diet is hell. People from the message board I frequent swear that it gets much better in the next 2 days, but right now all I can think about is how hungry I am. My stomach is burning and growling and I am exhausted. No energy. I was sneaky earlier and stole two Macadamia nuts from my husband's Atkins stash. It was like heaven. I was almost shaky as I lifted the little bites of heaven to my mouth.
It's overwhelming to think of doing this for 13 more days and that's only *before* the surgery!! After surgery there will be another 2-3 weeks of liquids only before moving slowly to pureed (baby food consistency) foods. All totalled - FIVE WEEKS at a minimum of liquids only. If anyone tells me that having this surgery is "the easy way out" to lose weight, I am without a doubt going to deck them! I see red just thinking about someone saying that to me or around me. WLS (weight loss surgery) is NOT for the faint of heart and it is a sacrifice of major proportions. My focus for the next 13 days - SKINNY ME or even just reasonably sized me!! I can do this... RIGHT?
I got up this morning cranky, defeated and sad. I hadn't even started yet!
I went to the kitchen to find my son making "hobo hash" for himself and his sibs. It's scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon and potatoes. I walked back out of the kitchen without even bothering with my protein shake. Finally around noon, I decided I was hungry enough to pull the "Bullet" (blender) out of it's box and start assembling it. I didn't get far. My frustration level was so high and my patience was non-existent. About 45 minutes later I proceeded to re-enter the kitchen yet again to hand wash all of the parts to the "Bullet" as well as to wash the shaker cups my husband and I will use for drinks at times. I was irritated at every single aspect of the preparation, but eventually I got ready for the ingredients.
"Yuck" my daughter said as she looked at the grog. I shot her an evil stare and said, "This is the only food I can eat for the next 2 weeks. Don't knock it!"
The shake really was pretty good and I got it down without issue. I actually felt full .... for about 20 minutes. I have been drinking all day. Three shakes total, one glass of tomato juice and 2 mugs of chicken broth. I AM STARVING. I am not going to sugar coat this - the liquid diet is hell. People from the message board I frequent swear that it gets much better in the next 2 days, but right now all I can think about is how hungry I am. My stomach is burning and growling and I am exhausted. No energy. I was sneaky earlier and stole two Macadamia nuts from my husband's Atkins stash. It was like heaven. I was almost shaky as I lifted the little bites of heaven to my mouth.
It's overwhelming to think of doing this for 13 more days and that's only *before* the surgery!! After surgery there will be another 2-3 weeks of liquids only before moving slowly to pureed (baby food consistency) foods. All totalled - FIVE WEEKS at a minimum of liquids only. If anyone tells me that having this surgery is "the easy way out" to lose weight, I am without a doubt going to deck them! I see red just thinking about someone saying that to me or around me. WLS (weight loss surgery) is NOT for the faint of heart and it is a sacrifice of major proportions. My focus for the next 13 days - SKINNY ME or even just reasonably sized me!! I can do this... RIGHT?
Monday, July 9, 2012
Liquids are here!
Today marks the beginning of my liquid diet. I feel really unsure about the whole thing, so I can't really say that I am taking this on like a lion. I feel very meek and afraid, to be honest. I can't fathom eating nothing that requires chewing for 2 weeks before surgery and at least 3 after.
FIVE WEEKS without food????? Think about that. No chewing, no eating, no satisfaction. Just drinking and sipping for weeks! I feel like I may starve to death. At least I am going to be hungry, grouchy and feeling very deprived. I know.. I know.. FOCUS ON THE PRIZE.
Ok - the prize is a surgery laden with less complications and risks and more weight loss. That HAS TO BE GOOD, right? It's not like I am going to starve. I will be drinking protein shakes full of vitamins and protein to keep me well and I will be drinking low sugar juices. I can have all the broth I want and I will be eating the hell out of sugar free Jello!
Crap. That didn't work. I am still freaking out and thinking I may starve to death. I am a food addict. I am. I admit out loud to the whole world. I love food, I love chewing food and I love to cook food. The real road begins here, right now. The huge lifelong changes begin, right now. I can do nothing but take this one day at a time and the way I feel right now, I am betting that sometimes it might be one hour at a time.
My goals - NO CHEATING. NO TAKING OUT FRUSTRATION AND HUNGER ON THOSE I LOVE.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, we don't see a lot of thunderstorms. I love to hear the thunder and it might sound a little corny, but right now I feel like it's a great mark to the end of the fat and unhealthy me. It's moving all of the stagnant life out and washing in health and happiness. It's such a fitting and dramatic new beginning! Or maybe it's my stomach growling........ ?
FIVE WEEKS without food????? Think about that. No chewing, no eating, no satisfaction. Just drinking and sipping for weeks! I feel like I may starve to death. At least I am going to be hungry, grouchy and feeling very deprived. I know.. I know.. FOCUS ON THE PRIZE.
Ok - the prize is a surgery laden with less complications and risks and more weight loss. That HAS TO BE GOOD, right? It's not like I am going to starve. I will be drinking protein shakes full of vitamins and protein to keep me well and I will be drinking low sugar juices. I can have all the broth I want and I will be eating the hell out of sugar free Jello!
Crap. That didn't work. I am still freaking out and thinking I may starve to death. I am a food addict. I am. I admit out loud to the whole world. I love food, I love chewing food and I love to cook food. The real road begins here, right now. The huge lifelong changes begin, right now. I can do nothing but take this one day at a time and the way I feel right now, I am betting that sometimes it might be one hour at a time.
My goals - NO CHEATING. NO TAKING OUT FRUSTRATION AND HUNGER ON THOSE I LOVE.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, we don't see a lot of thunderstorms. I love to hear the thunder and it might sound a little corny, but right now I feel like it's a great mark to the end of the fat and unhealthy me. It's moving all of the stagnant life out and washing in health and happiness. It's such a fitting and dramatic new beginning! Or maybe it's my stomach growling........ ?
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Deep Grief
I've been moody all day. Here it is - the 4th of July - and I am grouchy, hungry and sad. :( Yesterday my 6th son would have been 16 years old, so granted, that has clouded my mood for sure. Today I woke up ready to party with my family and BBQ. I packed up the kids, food for the group (most of which I can't eat on Atkins) and headed to my son's house. He told me he was going to start cooking at 11am and I told him I would be bringing a steak for him to grill just for me, since I can't eat hot dogs and hamburger patties are getting pretty old.
I arrived at his house at 11:20. No one else was there yet. I got some good time in with my 7 week old grandbaby, so that was nice, but my son wasn't grilling. I hadn't eaten breakfast so I was pretty hungry. By 12:30 I was asking what time my son might start grilling to which he replied, "when more people are here." By 1:30 I was cranky, very hungry and not feeling well. I hadn't eaten anything in like 16+ hours by then. I explained to my son that I needed to eat something and couldn't eat all of the chips, crackers and other goodies that he had out. Still no grilling. At 2:15 he finally started grilling and I was eating my steak at about 2:45. I felt really resentful about the timing. Hot dogs for everyone else were done at 2:30 and I still couldn't eat. There was no consideration for me. I realized that this is how it will be often times after surgery though and I need to start being much more responsible about eating before events like this. When I have my new gastric sleeve, I won't be able to go that long without eating without feeling very weak or sick. I need to bring snacks/protein drinks that I can eat and not rely on anyone else to understand that I need to eat! Frustrating, but a good lesson learned!
It was harder than I had anticipated to watch everyone eat chips and hamburgers with big fluffy buns, salads and all kinds of fresh fruit. I felt deprived and pissy. Family functions are about food many times and especially in my Italian family. I felt like an outsider and came home early. Food, pop, beer and so many other goodies and I couldn't have any of it. Uggghhh.. I know - I am just being a whiney baby. I got myself to this weight and it's all my fault. I shouldn't be crying about it now, BUT I AM. It's going to be a major change in my life and I am NOT going to be totally caught off guard by all of these drastic changes. I want to know now what to expect, and today was a great example.
The difference between today and next 4th of July though is that when they remove 80%-85% of my stomach, the part that makes Ghrelin will be gone. Ghrelin is the chemical that makes us hungry. I believe that I have a huge over-supply of that! All of these family get togethers should be infinitely easier because I won't be hungry!
I cried tonight talking to my husband about feeling like I will never eat many foods again. I cried and actually laughed at the same time as I said, "I will never eat a banana split again!!" My grief is real and big. It hurts and I imagine it will for quite some time to come. No more bowls of mashed potatoes and gravy for lunch ever again. No ice cream, cookies, cakes, pies, cheesecake, candy... on and on...
My mom asked me today, "Are you sure you want to do this?" and you know what I told her, despite my cranky mood and grief? YES and I wish they would do it today! Somehow I will work through this food addiction and grief to my new self. I will be watching people eat those things and thinking, "It feels a lot better to be skinny than that food tastes!!"
I arrived at his house at 11:20. No one else was there yet. I got some good time in with my 7 week old grandbaby, so that was nice, but my son wasn't grilling. I hadn't eaten breakfast so I was pretty hungry. By 12:30 I was asking what time my son might start grilling to which he replied, "when more people are here." By 1:30 I was cranky, very hungry and not feeling well. I hadn't eaten anything in like 16+ hours by then. I explained to my son that I needed to eat something and couldn't eat all of the chips, crackers and other goodies that he had out. Still no grilling. At 2:15 he finally started grilling and I was eating my steak at about 2:45. I felt really resentful about the timing. Hot dogs for everyone else were done at 2:30 and I still couldn't eat. There was no consideration for me. I realized that this is how it will be often times after surgery though and I need to start being much more responsible about eating before events like this. When I have my new gastric sleeve, I won't be able to go that long without eating without feeling very weak or sick. I need to bring snacks/protein drinks that I can eat and not rely on anyone else to understand that I need to eat! Frustrating, but a good lesson learned!
It was harder than I had anticipated to watch everyone eat chips and hamburgers with big fluffy buns, salads and all kinds of fresh fruit. I felt deprived and pissy. Family functions are about food many times and especially in my Italian family. I felt like an outsider and came home early. Food, pop, beer and so many other goodies and I couldn't have any of it. Uggghhh.. I know - I am just being a whiney baby. I got myself to this weight and it's all my fault. I shouldn't be crying about it now, BUT I AM. It's going to be a major change in my life and I am NOT going to be totally caught off guard by all of these drastic changes. I want to know now what to expect, and today was a great example.
The difference between today and next 4th of July though is that when they remove 80%-85% of my stomach, the part that makes Ghrelin will be gone. Ghrelin is the chemical that makes us hungry. I believe that I have a huge over-supply of that! All of these family get togethers should be infinitely easier because I won't be hungry!
I cried tonight talking to my husband about feeling like I will never eat many foods again. I cried and actually laughed at the same time as I said, "I will never eat a banana split again!!" My grief is real and big. It hurts and I imagine it will for quite some time to come. No more bowls of mashed potatoes and gravy for lunch ever again. No ice cream, cookies, cakes, pies, cheesecake, candy... on and on...
My mom asked me today, "Are you sure you want to do this?" and you know what I told her, despite my cranky mood and grief? YES and I wish they would do it today! Somehow I will work through this food addiction and grief to my new self. I will be watching people eat those things and thinking, "It feels a lot better to be skinny than that food tastes!!"
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Into July we go!
Here marks the beginning of July! I just spent the last June of my life being unhappy with myself. July brings the month of my life changing surgery and now there are exactly 3 weeks until I fly to Mexico.
The weekend brought a little bit of frustration. I peed on a "Keto-Stick" as normal when on the Atkins diet. It's always very reassuring to see that I am in Ketosis (my body is burning fat actively) by seeing the pink, violet or all the way to sometimes purple color on the stick. I was freaked when I looked to see that the stick read "trace" which means my fat burning had slowed way down. I have been SO good - no cheating whatsoever - so I was mad, sad and frustrated. I still haven't figured out what caused the slow down in my fat burning, but I suspect the sugar free breath mint that I ate at work. There must be something in there that tricked my body into thinking that I had eaten sugar. :(
By this morning (Sunday), I was already back into Ketosis and feeling better. No more risks - even if it says sugar free.
I can see the weight loss now. My shape is slightly changing and the skin on my belly is more loose. That's a good feeling... sort of. I have read that many people use keratin and vitamin E enriched lotion on their skin as they lose weight to help their skin be more elastic and regain it's shape. So, I studied the lotions at the local Walgreen's drug store for at least 20 minutes reading labels and trying to find the one that seemed to be the best. You wouldn't believe how many kinds of lotion there are now and how many things they claim to do! The worst thing I saw was how many lotions contain mineral oil or it's cousin petrolatum. Both words mean the same - the by-product of gas refining. It's a cheap oil, readily available and makes a great filler in lotions and other products. Problem is - anything coming from petroleum products would have a carcinogenic property and should really not be used in large amounts on the skin. Baby lotions are full of it -scary! I finally found one that seems safe and has a slight amount of anhydrous caffeine which gives a temporary firming effect on the skin. My hope is that it will help my skin "re-learn" how it should be.
Today I also invested in L'Oreal Visibly Different facial hydration. There's probably freaking mineral oil in it. I didn't look yet.. ... Crap! I want to start defending my face from the same skin sagging that is likely to happen elsewhere.
Eight days now until the liquid diet starts....
The weekend brought a little bit of frustration. I peed on a "Keto-Stick" as normal when on the Atkins diet. It's always very reassuring to see that I am in Ketosis (my body is burning fat actively) by seeing the pink, violet or all the way to sometimes purple color on the stick. I was freaked when I looked to see that the stick read "trace" which means my fat burning had slowed way down. I have been SO good - no cheating whatsoever - so I was mad, sad and frustrated. I still haven't figured out what caused the slow down in my fat burning, but I suspect the sugar free breath mint that I ate at work. There must be something in there that tricked my body into thinking that I had eaten sugar. :(
By this morning (Sunday), I was already back into Ketosis and feeling better. No more risks - even if it says sugar free.
I can see the weight loss now. My shape is slightly changing and the skin on my belly is more loose. That's a good feeling... sort of. I have read that many people use keratin and vitamin E enriched lotion on their skin as they lose weight to help their skin be more elastic and regain it's shape. So, I studied the lotions at the local Walgreen's drug store for at least 20 minutes reading labels and trying to find the one that seemed to be the best. You wouldn't believe how many kinds of lotion there are now and how many things they claim to do! The worst thing I saw was how many lotions contain mineral oil or it's cousin petrolatum. Both words mean the same - the by-product of gas refining. It's a cheap oil, readily available and makes a great filler in lotions and other products. Problem is - anything coming from petroleum products would have a carcinogenic property and should really not be used in large amounts on the skin. Baby lotions are full of it -scary! I finally found one that seems safe and has a slight amount of anhydrous caffeine which gives a temporary firming effect on the skin. My hope is that it will help my skin "re-learn" how it should be.
Today I also invested in L'Oreal Visibly Different facial hydration. There's probably freaking mineral oil in it. I didn't look yet.. ... Crap! I want to start defending my face from the same skin sagging that is likely to happen elsewhere.
Eight days now until the liquid diet starts....
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)