Hard Times

The last couple of weeks have been hard. There's no sugar coating this. I am very depressed and struggling.

My last big weight loss success was when I had the doctor here take out of my sutures. I have since been in a struggle with water retention and a stubborn body that seemingly doesn't want to be smaller.

There IS such a thing as the "2 week stall". Almost all patients experience the 2 week stall after having a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. Some people say it's because our bodies have depleted the glycogen stores that are kept to prevent us from burning muscle in these intense weight loss situations. Glycogen is stored for immediate energy use. I would hypothesize that this glycogen would be used for emergencies in cave man times when the food supply has been low for a long time and the body is way undernourished and then out of the bushes comes a saber-toothed tiger or something. The body then has this immediate energy to draw upon to run and escape. Anyway - with the glycogen stores depleted, the body needs to hold on to water and some calories to store more away. Other people say that the 2 week stall is merely the body's way of healing from the tremendous shock of the surgery and protecting itself during recovery.

Either way - the 2 week stall SUCKS. I have been sitting here at the same weight since August 1st. The 2 week stall lasts sometimes for a week or so, but in others it hangs on for 2 or even 3 weeks. Well, I am into the 3rd week.

The first week of the stall I noticed I was retaining quite a bit of water - mostly in my ankles and feet. The weather was hot, so I wasn't sure if it was the weather or what it was. When I first came home from Mexico, I had the smallest ankles I have had in YEARS, so putting the water back on them was disappointing. It just sat there and even if I kept my feet up as much as possible, it didn't seem to budge. By the end of the first week, I was also noting a really bad emotional state. I was very irritable, cranky and sad. Very sad.

The second week of the stall brought only more of the same, but also my menstrual cycle which really seemed to aggravate things. I gained 6 pounds (obviously only water) and I was deeply depressed. I had little to no interest in daily life and just getting showered daily was a major accomplishment. I cried many times a day and I napped or laid in my bed for a couple of hours a day. I was really struggling with my emotions and felt like everything in my life was a mess. My poor husband could do little but duck and try to be understanding. Of course, there was no weight loss.

At the end of the second week, I lost the water weight and was back down to the 293 I was at the doctor's office for suture removal. Sad, but at least no gain.

The third week has been much of the same. I am fighting for normality. I am trying my absolute hardest to be happy and grateful for all that I have and I am trying very hard to fight the urge to obsess over the numbers on my scale. I weighed myself yesterday to find I have lost 2 pounds! I was so elated and felt like maybe, just maybe the 2 week stall was over...  This morning, I weighed 293 again. No loss. I am dealing with it ok but I am starting to wonder if it's possible that the VSG doesn't work for everyone. I have a VERY low metabolism and I know this. Is it possible that I won't lose weight with this surgery? I have been tracking my calories and I am eating between 350 and 500 calories a day. How can I not be losing weight?????

Gratefully, I have discovered the issues with my mood. As fat is burned, the estrogen that is stored in our fat cells is released. Overweight women are basically estrogen warehouses!! I have to be burning fat, because the estrogen overload is out of control! I am just trying to be patient with myself as well as others while I am suffering through this stage. I have explained to my sweet husband that I am working hard to be normal and I am trying very hard not to nit pick him or be impatient with him, but I am sure I will still have my moments. I will be really happy when I am out of this stage in the weight loss. The hopelessness I feel is devastating and I am struggling to just be out of bed - even as I type this.