Four Months Post-Op

Well, today marks exactly four months by the calendar since my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. Every week is a little different and sometimes each day gives me a new challenge or a new victory. I am still learning to eat and drink adequately and I am still striving to keep my mind in line with my new body.

On the eating front, I am getting in between 400 and 700 calories a day and that is working pretty hard at eating something every 3-4 hours. I am generally getting the required 60 grams of protein each day, but despite my valiant efforts, my hair is almost completely gone now. I had read about hair loss after this surgery but I had no idea how dramatic it would be for me. It's been difficult and a little bit humiliating. I am too vain to go out in public with my little wispy strand of hair so I have opted for wearing a wig. That's a whole new experience for me in itself.  It's like constantly wearing a hat and it has really been hard to feel comfortable with something planted on my head that neither looks natural to me or feels right. I have received lots of compliments on my "hair" but I also know that most people can see that it's a wig and they sneer and roll their eyes sometimes. How judgmental people are when they know NOTHING of one's situation....   :(  I continue to take my Bariatric Surgery vitamins and also Biotin daily but I don't see any real new hair growth yet. It's going to be awhile I think. Water drinking has improved. I can now swallow more at once than a couple of months ago and it's easier to get my 64+ ounces in per day. I am also developing a slight bit of thirst again here and there which has made it easier to drink adequate amounts.

Here is a picture of me before the surgery and after the surgery to show my hair. It's been pretty shocking, and NO, I won't be posting a pic of me without the wig on. I look much like a cancer patient.

My husband tells me that my face is very different now and that I look "like a different person." He's not the best at hiding his emotions on his face and sometimes I can tell he is looking at me with some fear. I know he wonders sometimes if I AM the same person. Rest assured all around me, I AM THE SAME PERSON.

Can you see the difference in me? The first picture was take July 6th, 2012 and the second picture was taken November 22, 2012. I had surgery on July 23rd, 2012.

Other than the wig issue, I am very happy and proud to announce that I have now lost 84 POUNDS.

I was wearing a size 28 (pushing hard into a 30) and now I am almost a true 18. Size 20s are getting baggier each day. I need to lose at least another 50 pounds to feel good about myself, but would really like to lose another 96. Only time will tell where I end up and how much I will lose in the end. Speaking of my "end", it's sure a lot smaller these days but it's also drooping and even walking at a good clip on the treadmill (on the days when my Rheumatoid Arthritis allows it) hasn't toned that. The whole loose skin syndrome is really starting to show and I am more and more self-conscious about my sagging gut and loose skin.  :(  All in time. I keep telling myself this. When the weight is gone, I will have the skin removed (even if I have to sell my freaking body to pay for it) and I will be ok. Scars are better than looking like a Shar Pei.

My husband asked me again the other day with a very sober face, "Do you regret it?" I sat and actually thought on that question for a minute. Stomach pain (extreme hunger), having an unsatisfying BM about every 9 days, tiredness and trying to constantly micro-manage every tiny thing that goes into my mouth aside, I would have to say that I am honestly not regretting this at all. I am getting my life back, my self-esteem back and I am starting to be looked upon and talked to like a normal person again. The value of that is priceless. Would I recommend this surgery to someone considering it today? Absolutely. Get your life back. This is NOT the easy way out and it's not going to fix your obesity by itself, but with hard work, discipline and much courage, you can have your life back.